Many problems that cause enmity to continue for a year or two years, or perhaps for life, can easily be solved by one person saying to another,“I made a mistake. I am sorry.”
“Yes, I did not make it to the appointment.”
“Yes, I made a bad joke.”
“Yes, I said hurtful things.”
Be quick to put out the fire before it is set ablaze.Say,“I am
sorry. I owe you an apology.” You would only feel better after apologising.
There occurred an argument between Abu Dharr and Bilal
– may Allah be pleased with them both – and even though they were both Companions of the Prophet peace be upon him, they were still human.
During the argument,Abu Dharr became angry and said to Bilal,“O son of a black woman!” Thereupon,Bilal complained to the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him.The Prophet peace be upon himcalled Abu Dharr and said,“Did you insult Bilal?”
He replied,“Yes.”The Prophet peace be upon him said,“Did you mention his mother?”
He replied,“When someone is insulted,usually his father and mother are also mentioned, O Messenger of Allah!”
The Prophet peace be upon him replied, “You are a man with traits of pre-Islamic ignorance.”
He asked,“Even when I am this old?”
The Prophet peace be upon him replied,“Yes.”
The Prophet peace be upon him then taught him the manner in which he should deal with those who may be seen as below his social status, saying,“They are only your brothers.Allah has placed them in your care.And whoever Allah places in one’s care then let him feed him with what he eats himself, clothe him with what he clothes himself. Let him not overburden him with that which he cannot bear. And if he does overburden him, then let him lend him a hand.”
What did Abu Dharr do then?
Abu Dharr went to see Bilal and apologised. He sat on the ground in front of Bilal and he became closer to the ground until he rested his cheek on the dust, and said,“O Bilal! Put your foot on my cheek!” (Muslim)
This is how eager the Companions were to set out the flames of enmity before they became strong, and even if they became strong, they would do their best to prevent them from spreading.
A disagreement took place between Abu Bakr and ‘Umar, where Abu Bakr made ‘Umar angry.‘Umar went away from Abu Bakr in a state of anger.When Abu Bakr saw this, he regretted it and feared that the situation may exacerbate.Thus he went after
‘Umar saying,“Forgive me,O ‘Umar!” But ‘Umar refused to turn to him.
Abu Bakr kept apologising and following ‘Umar until he reached his home and shut the door in Abu Bakr’s face. Upon this, Abu Bakr went to the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him. When the Prophet peace be upon himsaw him coming from afar, he noticed something different about him and said,“This Companion of ours seems to be in trouble.”
Abu Bakr sat down quietly,and it wasn’t long until ‘Umar also regretted his mistake. May Allah be pleased with them all! How pure were their hearts!
‘Umar headed to the Prophet’s gathering, greeted everyone and sat down next to the Prophet peace be upon him and told him the story, along with how he turned away from Abu Bakr and did not accept his apology.
The Messenger of Allah peace be upon him became angry. When Abu Bakr saw his anger, he began to say,“By Allah, O Messenger of Allah! This is only because I was the wrongdoer.I was the wrongdoer!” He began to defend and make excuses for ‘Umar.
The Prophet peace be upon himsaid,“Will you leave my Companion alone? Will you leave my Companion alone? When I said,‘O people! I am the Messenger of Allah to you all’,all of you said,‘You have lied!’ yet Abu Bakr said,‘You have spoken the truth!’” (al-Bukhari)
Be careful not to be from those who rectify others while corrupting their own souls. Such people go around in circles with their faults like a donkey going around a mill.
Hence, if you ever are in a position to advise others or be an example to them, such as a teacher with his students, a father or a mother with his or her children, then think as if you are under the watch of your customers. Everyone is monitoring you. Always discipline yourself as much as possible.The same applies to a couple dealing with each other.
Once,‘Umar – may Allah be pleased with him – distributed clothes to people. Everyone received a piece of cloth that would have sufficed him either as an upper or lower garment. ‘Umar then stood up to address the people on Friday, and said in the beginning,“Surely,Allah has ordered you to hear and obey…”
As he said that, there rose a man from amongst the people and said,“There is no hearing, nor obedience!”
‘Umar said,“Why is that?”
He replied,“Because you gave us all one garment each, while you yourself wear two new garments!” meaning, your upper and lower garment, as we can notice they are new.
‘Umar then turned to the congregation as though looking for someone, until he found his son ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar. He said, “Stand up, O ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar!” He stood up.
He said,“Did you not give me your garment so I may deliver my address to the people therein?”
He replied,“Yes.”
Then the man sat down and said,“Now we shall hear and we shall obey.” and that was the end of the matter.
Although I agree that the manner in which the man objected to ‘Umar was inappropriate, our amazement is over ‘Umar’s ability to understand the situation and extinguish the flames of trouble.
Lastly, if you would like others to accept your comments or advice, no matter who they may be, your wife, son or your sister, then be receptive to advice yourself without being arrogant.
A man is always saying to his wife,“Look after the children better… Cook good food… How long have I been telling you to sort out the bedroom?” She would always respond gently, “Alright,Allah willing, I will do as you say.”
One day she suggests piece of advice for him, “The children are having their exams nowadays and they need you to be present, so please don’t be late if you go out with your friends.”
The man merely hears these words and shouts at her,“I don’t have time for them! And whether or not I am late, what has that got to do with you? This is none of your business!”
Tell me, in the name of Allah, why you expect her to accept your advice after this?
And lastly, the clever person is the one who seals the holes in his wall so the people are not able to glance inside. Meaning, do not give people the opportunity to doubt you.
I recall that once a Da‘wah organisation invited a group of preachers to deliver lectures in Albania.The president of all the Albanian Da‘wah centres was also present. We looked at him and noticed that he did not have a single strand of hair on his cheek! We looked at each other in amazement,for it is common for a preacher to abide by the practices of the Messenger of Allah peace be upon himby growing his beard, even if it is light. How can a leader of preachers be clean-shaven?
When the conference started, he said to us jokingly, “Dear all! I am naturally beardless. My beard simply does not grow. Do not arrange a whole lecture about me after we have finished!” We smiled and thanked him.
If you will, let us travel back in time to Madinah and look at the Messenger of Allah peace be upon himwhile he was making I‘tikaaf in his mosque in one of the nights of Ramadan.There came his wife, Safiyyah bint Huyay, to visit him and stayed with him for a while. She then rose to go back to her house.The Prophet peace be upon himdid not like for her to go back home in the darkness of the night, so he decided to go with her. He walked some of the way with her until two men from the Ansaar passed by him.
When they saw the Prophet peace be upon himwith a woman they began to walk fast. Upon seeing this, the Prophet peace be upon him said to them, “Take your time! She is only Safiyyah bint Huyay.”
They said, “SubhanAllah!” meaning, does it make sense that we should assume that you are walking with a strange woman?
The Prophet peace be upon himsaid,“Indeed, the devil flows through the human being like blood in the veins. I feared that he may place evil in your hearts, or may whisper something to you…” (al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Bravery…
Bravery is not to persist in your errors, but to acknowledge that you are wrong, and not to repeat the error again.
ليست هناك تعليقات:
إرسال تعليق