1-It is not important to always be successful
Fahd was once with his friend,who was very proud and arrogant, in a remote desert when suddenly their eyes fell on something black on the ground.The blowing wind would sometimes conceal it and then it would become visible again.
Fahd turned to his friend and said,“Any idea what this is?”
The friend said,“It is a black goat!”
Fahd said,“I think it is a crow.”
The friend said,“I am telling you, it is a goat.”
Fahd said,“OK, let’s get closer and see what it is.”
As they came closer, their eyes became more focused on the
object, until it became clear that it was a crow.
Fahd said,“Brother, by Allah, this is a crow!”
The friend shook his head negatively and said,“It is a goat!”
Fahd remained silent. As they came closer to it, the crow
became aware of their approach and flew away.
Fahd screamed, “Allahu Akbar! A crow! You see? It was a crow and it flew!”
The friend said,“It is a goat, even if it flew!”
Why did I mention this story? I mentioned it to make the point that all the skills I have mentioned so far only apply to the people in general. However, there are always some people, no matter how many skills you try with them, who will never respond positively.
If you were to try the skill of flattery and say, “MashaAllah! How beautiful are your clothes! You look as if you are a groom today!”, and expect him to smile and thank you for your kindness, he would not react positively to you. Rather, he would look askance at you and say,“OK,OK,don’t be so kind,and don’t be so light-hearted” and similar dull words which only underline his lack of expertise in dealing with others.
Similarly, a woman may test some of these skills with her husband by relating a joke, but the husband may react negatively and say,“OK! Don’t force yourself to laugh!”
If you ever come across such people, then keep in mind that they do not represent the whole of society, for I have experimented with these skills myself.Yes, by Allah, I have tried these skills myself and seen the results on people, young and old, simpletons and intelligent, the aristocrat and my students at university. I have tried these skills with my own children and have witnessed amazing results. In fact, I have tried these skills on people of different races and nationalities and seen positive results, and I say all of this as a sincere advisor to you.
In short...
Are you serious about change?
2- Be brave and start from now!I recall that once I delivered a course on the skills of dealing with people, and there was a man known as ‘Abd al-‘Aziz in the audience. He was noticeably affected by the course, since he was taking down notes on every minor point.The three days of the course went by and we all went home.After a month I was delivering the same course again,and as I looked at the audience, I saw ‘Abd al-‘Aziz sitting in the first row!
I became surprised and thought, why does he want to attend the course for a second time? Surely, he knows I am only going to repeat myself!
When the Adhan was given and the students went out of the lecture hall, I took the hand of ‘Abd al-‘Aziz, walked along with him and said,“’Abd al-‘Aziz, what made you attend for the second time? You know I am only going to repeat myself. The notes you have in your hands are the same as those given to you the last time.The certificate you will receive is exactly the same as the certificate you received last time!” Meaning, you wouldn’t benefit anymore than taht.
He said to me, “Believe me, my friends are saying to me, “ ‘Abd al-‘Aziz! You have changed the way you deal with us in the past month!
I thought about it and realised that I am only practising the skills I had learnt in the previous course. So I came back to attend the course once again to fortify the skills I had learnt previously.”
Therefore...
If you seriously want a change, then begin right now!
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