My son,‘Abd al-Rahman,once kept repeating a phrase I was amazed by. I think at that age he couldn’t actually understand what it meant.He used to say,“Ignore,live and let live…” I contemplated on this phrase as I thought about people’s criticisms, opinions, and dialogues, and found that people vary in their speech and criticisms.
Amongst them are those who are sincere advisors but are not very skilful, and hence, their approach saddens you rather than making you happy.Amongst them are those who are envious, people who actually intend to sadden you and make you grieve. Amongst them are those who do not know much, and hence, they often do not know what they are saying. It would be better if such people were to remain silent. Amongst them are those whose nature is always to criticise, since they look at life through a dark set of goggles, as it were.
There is an old saying, “If people had the same taste, merchandise would be rendered futile.”
It is said Juha once mounted on his donkey while his son walked by his side. As they passed by another group of people, the people said,“Look at this inconsiderate father! He rides the donkey in comfort while his son is walking by him in the sun!” Juha heard them,stopped the donkey,dismounted and let his son ride instead.
They continued on,and as Juha felt better about himself,they passed by another group of people. One of them said,“Look at this disobedient son! He rides while leaving his father to walk in the sun!” Juha heard them, stopped his donkey and mounted it along with his son to save himself from people’s criticism.
They then passed by a people who said, “Look at these inconsiderate people! They do not have pity on the animal!” Juha then dismounted and said to his son,“Dear son, please descend.” The son descended and began to walk by his father’s side.
They passed by some people who said, “Look at these two foolish people! They are walking whilst no one is riding the donkey! Why was the donkey created if not to be mounted on?”’ Juha screamed,and dragged his son.They sat beneath the donkey and lifted it up on their shoulders!
If I had been with him at the time, I would have said to him, “Dear beloved, do as you please and do not care about what others have to say. Pleasing others is an unachievable objective.”
Some people do not think thoroughly about their views before suggesting them to others. For example, one of them will come to you after you have been married and say,“Why didn’t you propose to such and such woman? Why didn’t you marry her?” At this point, you feel like erupting in his face, saying,“Dear brother! I have already got married! End of discussion! No one asked you for your suggestions!”
Or he would come to you after you have sold you car and say, “If only you were to have informed me earlier! So-and-so would have paid you more.” You would say in response, “Dear brother, enough!’ I have already sold my car and that is the end of the story. Do not distract me by making me look back!”
Generally speaking,
A man is never without an opponent
Even if he lives alone on a mountain peak
Do not punish yourself.
Experience
One of the predecessors said, “The one who subjects his religion to argumentation changes his opinions very often!”
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