Some people think that by criticising others over microscopic faults, they are somehow getting closer to them, or strengthening their own personality.
The truth is that a constant barrage of absolute criticism does not prove your shrewdness. On the contrary, your ability to avoid it as much as possible and endeavour to correct people in ways that do not cause them hurt or embarrassment is the indication of an astute person.
There are cases in which it is preferable you remain oblivious, especially when they involve worldly issues and personal rights.
The leader of a people is not the one who is foolish
The leader of a people is the one who pretends to be foolish
The one who is criticised views criticisms as sharp arrows directed towards him, because he feels he is deficient.This is the first point.
The second point is to try to avoid as much as you can advising someone in public:
Advise me in private freely But do spare me of your advice in public For the advice given in public is a form of rebuke I do not
like to hear
When a mistake becomes widespread and you feel compelled to advise a person publicly, then adhere to the principle: “What is wrong with the people that they do such and such?”, as we have already explained.
A criticism is like a whip which the critic uses to lash someone’s back. Some people repel others either by the excessiveness of their criticisms, or by criticising bygone things where their criticisms do not rectify any wrongdoing or achieve any objective.
The plight of a poor man who had left his land for another country to work as a truck driver comes to mind. One day, he was very tired, but he managed to force himself to sit in the truck and drive it a long way between two cities. On the way, he was overtaken by slumber.He tried to fight off sleep and accelerated a little. He overtook a car in front of him without paying full attention, only to encounter another small car heading towards him with three passengers.
He tried to steer away but could not and collided into the car head on.There was a lot of dust and smoke at the scene, and the passersby began to stop their cars to witness the accident. The truck driver came out and looked at the car, then looked at the passengers to find them all dead.
The people took the passengers out of the car and called an ambulance.The truck driver sat there waiting for the ambulances to arrive. He began to think about what might happen to him from imprisonment or having to pay blood-money. He began to think about his young children and his wife. Poor man! His worries heaped onto him like a mountain.
The people began to verbally attack him as they passed by. Astonishing! Was this the time to heap criticism on the poor fellow? Could it not have been delayed a little,until the driver came out of his shock?
One of them said,“Why do you drive fast? This is the result of speeding!”
The other said, “I have no doubt you were sleepy, and despite that you continued driving! Why didn’t you stop the car and sleep?”
Yet a third person said, “People like you should never be given a driving license!”
People were making these comments very harshly,screaming violently.
All the while, the man was sitting silently on a rock with his head in his hands, and suddenly, he fell to his side − dead.They killed him by the spontaneity and ruthlessness of their criticisms. If only they had waited a little, it would have been better for him and them.
Place yourself in the shoes of the one who is criticised, the one who is wrong, and think from his point of view. If you were to be in his place, you would probably make a mistake bigger than his.
The Prophet peace be upon him was always conscious of this.
When the Prophet peace be upon himwith his Companions departed from Khaybar, they travelled for a long time until they became tired. When evening approached, they stopped at a place to sleep.The Prophet peace be upon himsaid,“Who would make sure that we wake up for Fajr so we may sleep in peace?” Bilal – may Allah be pleased with him
– who was very eager, said, “I shall wake you up, O Messenger of Allah!”
The Messenger of Allah peace be upon himthen lied down, as did the people and they all fell asleep. Bilal stood up and prayed until he became tired, since he too was tired due to the long journey. He sat down and leant against his camel to rest. As the time for Fajr began to enter, his eyelids felt heavier and heavier till he slipped into a slumber.
They were all very tired, hence they all overslept. Night passed and morning came, whilst they all remained asleep, and were only awoken by the heat of the sun.
The Prophet peace be upon himwoke up, and so did the people.When they saw the sun they became confused and clamorous. Everyone by now was looking at Bilal.
The Prophet peace be upon him looked at Bilal and said, “What have you done to us, O Bilal?”
In response, Bilal said briefly, yet explaining what precisely happened,“O Messenger of Allah! My soul was taken by the One Who took your soul.” Meaning, I am a human being. I tried to ward off sleep but I wasn’t able to. I was overtaken by sleep just as the rest of you were!
The Prophet peace be upon him said, “You have spoken the truth”, and remained silent.What would the benefit have been in blaming anyone?
When the Prophet peace be upon him saw that the people were confused, he said to them,“Let’s embark!’ They all set off.He then walked for a while and stopped by a place as they all did.They all made ablution for prayer, and the Prophet peace be upon himled the people in prayer. After concluding the prayer, the Prophet peace be upon himturned to the people and said, “If you ever forget to pray then pray as soon as you remember.”
How excellent he was! How wise he was!
He served as a learning centre for every leader, unlike some modern-day leaders who rarely avoid blaming and scolding.The Prophet peace be upon himwould place himself in the shoes of those under him, and think from their perspective. He would deal with the hearts, before dealing with the bodies. He knew that they were merely human beings and not machines!
In the 9th year of Hijrah, Rome amassed an army and began to approach from the direction of Syria in order to fight the Prophet peace be upon himand his Companions; although it is also said that the Prophet peace be upon himamassed an army himself to initiate a fight with them.
So the Prophet peace be upon himbegan to prepare an army. He incited the people until he managed to gather three thousand fighters.They were then equipped with whatever weaponry and provision that was available.
The Prophet peace be upon himsaid to them,“Your leader is Zayd bin Harithah. If Zayd is struck, then Ja’far bin Abi Talib will lead, and if Ja’far is struck, then ‘Abdullah bin Rawahah.”
The Prophet peace be upon himwent out with them in order to bid farewell to the army.So did the people,who said to the army,“May Allah be your companion! May He defend you and return you to us safe!”
‘Abdullah bin Rawahah was yearning for martyrdom and to that end he recited his poems.
The army then headed for the battle of Mu’tah, until they stopped over a place called Ma’aan, in Syria. There the news reached them that Heraclius the Emperor of Rome had stopped over in Syria with 100,000 Roman troops, and that a further 100,000 of tribal warriors had joined him, making them 200,000 strong altogether.
When the Muslims ascertained the news, they stayed over two nights at Ma’aan considering the right course of action. Some of them said,“We should write to the Messenger of Allah peace be upon himinforming him of the numbers of our enemy. He would either send us reinforcements or order us with something else, and we will do as he wishes.”
When too many people began offering their opinions, ‘Abdullah bin Rawahah stood up and said,“O people! What you dislike is what you have come out to seek − martyrdom in the path of Allah, yet you are fleeing from it! We do not fight the people with might or numbers.We do not fight them, except with the aid of this religion that Allah has blessed us with. So let us march forth! For there can only be two positive outcomes: either victory or martyrdom!”
Hence, the people marched forth, until they approached the Roman Army at a place called Mu’tah, only to find them in great numbers, beyond anyone’s military might.
Abu Hurayrah said,“I witnessed the day of Mu’tah.When we came close to the pagans, we saw what no one could ever overcome, in terms of number, weaponry, beasts, ornaments, silk and gold. My eyes glistened.
“Thabit bin Arqam said to me,‘You did not witness Badr with us.We do not win by our numbers.’’’
Then the armies met and fought. Zayd bin Harithah fought with the flag of the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him until his body was sliced by numerous spears, due to which he was slain and martyred – may Allah be pleased with him.
Ja’far then took the flag with all his valour and attacked the enemy on his fair-haired horse. He took the flag in his right hand until it was cut off. He then took the flag by his left hand until it too was severed. He then embraced the flag, holding it with his upper arms until he was killed. He was only thirty-three years old.
Ibn ‘Umar said, “I came across Ja’far’s body that day, and counted fifty stab wounds and cuts,not one of which were on his back.Allah recompensed him for that with two wings in Paradise with which he may fly wherever he wishes.He was also struck by a Roman soldier who cut him in two halves with a sword.”
When Ja’far was killed, ‘Abdullah bin Rawahah took up the flag and moved forward on his horse, but slightly hesitated to advance towards the enemies, and said:
“O soul! I have sworn that you will fight!
You will fight, or you will be forced to fight!
When people have assembled and shouted the war cry,
Why do I see you hating to enter Paradise?”
As he then dismounted from his horse, his cousin came to
him with a meaty bone,saying,“Have some of this,for you have suffered much these days.” He took it and ate a little, then heard a noise coming from a certain direction. He looked at the bone he was eating and said, “You are still engaged in this world!” He threw down the bone, took his sword, pressed forward and fought until he was killed – may Allah be pleased with him.The flag fell once again and the Muslims became confused, whilst the disbelievers rejoiced. All the while, the flag was being trampled all over under the dust.
Suddenly, there came the brave Companion, Thabit bin Arqam and he raised the flag once again and shouted,“O Muslims! I have the flag! Choose your leader!”
They shouted back at him,“You be the leader!”
“I will not!” replied Thabit.
They then suggested Khalid bin al-Walid, and when he took the flag, he fought fiercely, so much so that he would say afterwards, “Nine swords were broken in my hand on the day of Mu’tah, until nothing was left in my hand except a Yemeni sword.”
Khalid then withdrew with the army into their camps, as did the Romans. Khalid also feared returning to Madinah with the army the same night, in case the Romans followed them. Hence, when they woke up, Khalid changed the positions of the army by switching the rear division with the front, and right flank with the left.
When the battle commenced and the Romans came forth, every division from them noticed new flags and banners amongst the Muslims and new faces. They became confused and said, “Perhaps, they received reinforcements last night”, and became panic-stricken.
The Muslims managed to kill a great number of them, whilst only twelve men were killed from amongst the Muslims. Khalid then retreated with the army by the evening and continued his way back to Madinah.When they arrived in Madinah, they saw the children racing towards them.When the women met them, they began to throw dust in the face of the army saying, “You fleers! Do you run away while fighting in the path of Allah?”
When the Prophet peace be upon him heard this, since he knew that they had no choice and did all they could, he said in their defence, “They do not run away! They will turn around and attack,if Allah wills!” This was the end of the matter for him. Surely, they were all brave men who did not fall short of their duty, but they were still human beings, and what they were faced with was beyond their strength. This was the end of the matter and therefore, there was no benefit left in criticism.This was always the method of the Prophet peace be upon him.
When the disbelievers heard that the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him was heading towards Makkah with his army for a conquest, they became terrified.The Messenger of Allah peace be upon himsent to them a man who would announce to all the Makkans:
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- Whoever enters his home and closes his door shall be safe.
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- Whoever enters the Mosque shall be safe.
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- Whoever enters the house of Abu Sufyan shall be safe. The people began to flee from the Prophet peace be upon him.
Meanwhile, some of the horsemen of Quraysh gathered together in order to fight, but their people refused. A group of them decided to meet at a place called al-Khandamah.They were: Safwan bin Umayyah, ‘Ikrimah bin Abi Jahl, Suhayl bin ‘Amr and others who had gathered together at al-Khandamah to fight.
Hamas bin Qays was actually preparing his weapon before the Prophet peace be upon himmade his way to Makkah.When his wife noticed, she said,“Why are you preparing your weapons?”
He replied,“For Muhammad and his Companions!” His wife was aware of the Muslim might, so she said, “By Allah! I do not see anything withstanding Muhammad and his Companions!” He replied,“By Allah! I hope that I will bring one of them for your service one day”, meaning he would capture some of them and bring them to her as servants. He then left for the place called al-Khandamah where his companions had gathered, only to encounter the Muslims being led by the sword of Allah, Khalid bin al-Walid. The fighting commenced, the brave men attacked and in just a matter of a few moments, more than twelve or thirteen disbelievers were killed. When Hamas bin Qays saw this, he turned to Safwan and
‘Ikrimah and saw them run away to their homes. He caught up with them and headed for his home.
Upon reaching home, he screamed at his wife with fear, “Please shut the door on me! They are saying whoever enters his home and closes his door shall be safe!”
She said in response, “What happened to all that you said? That you would destroy them, and bring some of them to me as servants?”
He said,
“If you were to witness the day of al-Khandamah
When Safwan as well as Ikrimah fled
When we faced the Muslim swords
As they cut our every limb and flesh
Striking us, and you hear nothing but the sound of killing,
You would not have uttered a word in criticism.”
That’s right! If only his wife had seen the suffering he had witnessed, she would not have uttered a word of criticism.
On another occasion, when the Prophet peace be upon himentered Makkah during the conquest, he was aware of the greatness of the Holy City, and therefore, only fought very little. He then said, “Allah has made this land sacred the day He created the heavens and the earth. He only gave me the allowance to fight for one hour in the day.”
It was said to him,“O Messenger of Allah! Are you forbidding us from killing? Khalid bin al-Walid in his division is killing whoever he meets from the pagans.”
The Prophet peace be upon himsaid,“Get up,O so-and-so,and go to Khalid bin al-Walid and tell him to keep his hands up with regards to killing.”
This man obviously realised that they were in the middle of a war, and that the Prophet peace be upon himhad ordered the Quraysh to stay in their homes so they would not be killed.This implied that whoever was not in his home deserved to be fought.
Hence, he understood from the Prophet’s statement,“Keep his hands up with regards to killing”, to mean that he should kill anyone who stands in his way, and keep his hands raised from killing when he is not able to find anyone to kill!
Thus,the man came to Khalid and said,“O Khalid! The Messenger of Allah peace be upon himsays: Kill whoever you can!” Khalid, therefore, ended up killing seventy men.
A man came to the Prophet peace be upon himand said,“O Messenger of Allah! Khalid is killing!” Upon hearing this, the Prophet peace be upon himbecame surprised and thought about how he could kill after he had been forbidden. He immediately sent for Khalid.When Khalid came to him, he said,“Did I not forbid you from killing?”
Khalid became surprised and said, “O Messenger of Allah! So-and-so came to me and ordered me to kill whoever I can!” The Prophet peace be upon him then sent for that man. When he arrived, the Prophet peace be upon himsaid,“Did I not say he must raise his hands regarding killing?” The man instantly realised his fault, but it was too late.
He said,“O Messenger of Allah! You willed something.Allah willed something else and Allah’s will overpowered yours.I could not do more than what I did.” The Prophet peace be upon himremained silent and did not reply.
Whoever contemplates over different situations in life finds it very evident that sometimes a person does the very best he could but his efforts do not reap the desired outcome.
Once I sat with a youth in his car and noted that his driving skills were excellent. I also knew that he was involved in an accident a week earlier.I asked him,“I notice that your driving skills
are very good.Why then did you have an accident a week ago?”
He said,“Well, I had to!”
I said,“That’s strange!”
He said,“Yes, I had to. Do you know why?”
I said,“Why?”
He said,“I was driving up a bridge and I was speeding.When I began to drive down the bridge, I suddenly noticed the cars in front of me were all at a standstill. I had no idea what the reason was, an accident or a check point, I had no idea.
“But I was taken by surprise.There were four lanes in front of me and all four of them were full of cars. I had the choice of steering away from them all and falling off the bridge, or putting my foot down on the brakes and letting the car play with me as it wants, or the third choice, which was the easiest of them all...”
“Which was?” I asked.
“To crash into one of the four cars in front of me!”
I laughed and said,“I see! So what did you do then?”
He said, “I slowed down as much as I could, choose the
cheapest car in front of me and smashed into it!”
He then laughed as did I, but I thought about what he had said, and thought that perhaps he did not deserve much criticism, because his choices were limited. Some problems simply do not have a solution. If a person’s father happens to be very bigoted, he tries to advise him using all means, and if he does not listen, what more can he do?
A suggestion
Put yourself in the shoes of the one criticised and think from his perspective. Only then pass a judgement on him.
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